DOCUMENTARY F.A.Q.
WHY DID YOU MAKE THE FILM?
For many reasons!
1) There are few stories of Muslims in popular media that do not relate to terrorism. I wanted to challenge the status quo, and most importantly, I wanted Muslims to define themselves. I made this film to let people into the lives of my friends through the sensitive and turbulent topic of love, a universal language that offers mainstream America a way to understand the challenges of practicing Muslims who constantly negotiate faith and culture in American society.
2) Love is in the air, and it's a reflection of traditions in flux. Among my twenty-something friends, each week a new couple announces their engagement, having kept their marriage talks hush-hush until the right moment. The rest of the pack struggles to understand how it happened.
How did they make the first move, how was Islamic gender relations maintained, how did they overcome a generational/culture gap with their parents? As practicing Muslims who have often re-interpreted religion from the understanding of more culturally-oriented parents, our adaptations are hard for even us to recognize. We need to recognize the pressures, needs and compromises at this formative stage in our American Muslim identity.
3) By accomplishing the above, perhaps it might be easier to converse with non-Muslim peers about these complex experiences, at least regarding the pursuit of love, with non-Muslim friends, who are often confused by the notion of not dating and immediately believe this alternative means arranged marriage.
4) "Muslims in Love", I mean, what a title.
WHAT PROBLEMS DID YOU ENCOUNTER IN MAKING THE FILM?
There were a few challenges:
1) Access to women. For Muslims, reputation is critical in getting people interested for marriage talks. Participating in a documentary that asks personal questions about one's experiences in previous marriage talks compromises a woman's reputation. If one has been in more than the average number of marriage talks, it might give her the reputation of someone, to put it in Zahra's words, "who's been around the block." Furthermore, Muslims adhere to notions of "Hiya", or modesty. From wearing the headscarf (Hijab) to behaving in a formal, professional manner in public, Muslim women feel the pressure to maintain a dignified image, because appearing vulnerable, flawed, or less than symbol of piety jeopardizes their chances of being approached for marriage by practicing Muslim men. Also, participating in a documentary that explores the private life of women might also cast doubt on her judgment and ability to maintain a separation between the home life (private sphere) and society (public sphere).
2) Access to men. Because of the social separation between men and women in Muslim circles, it took extra leg-work to get in touch with men who were involved in marriage talks to pitch the project. For example, instead of pitching the idea at a party when the energy and excitement for the project is high, which I did at women's parties, or speaking to them directly over the phone, which I did with women friends, I had to go through email lists to advertise for the project to reach both sexes. I also went through women friends with brothers or married women to find out if their husbands had friends who were single men potentially in marriage talks. In both cases, there was another step involved that distilled my energy for the project and the efficacy that comes from a human-to-human pitch.
Ultimately, we solved the reputation issues and access issues by finding a newly married couple, our lovely Mohammad & Ferdaus, to spare people the risky and embarrassing situation of having one's marriage talks (which may or may not succeed) forever on film.
3) Access to parents. Originally, we'd wanted to focus on a couple involved in marriage talks who were introduced through friends, and whose parents were perplexed by the changing traditions (one, that they weren't doing the introducing, and two, that their children are conducting their marriage process in a structured, religious way that's different from their culture). This phenomenon is very common, yet because of the tensions involved with practicing kids and cultural parents, many people opted to not add a documentary crew to their list of aggravations, and chose also to not take the risk of openly presenting strains within the family, because that also affects one's reputation for marriage. We decided that including the generational issue was too much for our short documentary, so in the end this dynamic in many marriage talks was not pursued.
4) Translating Muslim culture behind the scenes. A large part of my challenge as a director was communicating cultural and religious issues, and the differences between them, to a non-Muslim crew. "Muslims in Love" was fortunate to have a passionate and dedicated group of people working for the film. There were times when I loved them very much and times when I felt very alienated from them despite our shared American identity, because I couldn't effectively convey the weight and significance of treating the Muslim American experience a particular way on screen. There is so much pressure as a minority and as a Muslim woman to fight stereotypes and portray a marginalized community accurately that I became frustrated with the crew in moments when we didn't see eye to eye about culturally sensitive creative decisions. However, they taught me a great deal about communication, knowing our realistic options and approaching similar situations in the future, and there's just as much love on screen as behind the scenes to this day.
5) We were filming during Ramadan, the busiest, holiest month of the Muslim year! It was exciting and stressful. Everyone's schedule was packed, which made scheduling shoots very troublesome, and people (including me) were exhausted from the fasts.
WHAT DO YOU WANT THE VIEWER TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE FILM?
For the average American, I would be delighted if the film established a few basic things: Muslims are human, being a minority is hard, and religion is precious to a practicing Muslim in all spheres of life.
For the Muslim viewer, I hope that the film nurtures the perspective that it's OK to talk openly about issues within the Muslim community. Fear of not "airing the dirty laundry" doesn't help fix the problems. I hope that some of the characters' openness shows that etiquette and reputation-woes are not as important as building the foundations for healthier societies. We can't do justice to our faith if, for example, racism dominates marriage decisions and if we don't want to admit how challenging it is to practice Islam in our lifestyles for fear of being labeled a bad Muslim. It would be great to find that the film helps Muslims to be honest, and to be OK with being honest.
What has been the response from the audience? Positive Ð Muslims love it, because it's so rare to see people on screen that accurately represent their experiences. The characters are finally Muslims they can become invested in and root for. Non-Muslims appreciate the range of voices within the Muslim community on the issue of love, and are always taken aback by the incredibly vocal and articulate Muslim women characters.
WHAT IS YOUR BACKGROUND?
I am ethnically Bangladeshi, Boston-raised, and California bred.
HOW DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTERS?
I was specifically looking for a diverse cast that represented the mix of cultures that makes up the Muslim American community. It's always been irritating for me (and for most Muslim Americans) when people assume Muslim means Arab and vice versa. Since 40% of the Muslim American population is African American, it was important to have a significant African American representation, e.g. Jameelah & friends. Mohammad is ethnically Lebanese, Zahra is ethnically Indian, Michelle is ethnically of European ancestry, and Ferdaus is ethnically half Lebanese and half Malaysian.
WHAT ROLE DID THE MUSIC PLAY?
The music is very distinct. I wanted to avoid ethnic sounds as much as possible, because Muslim Americans are incredibly aware of being typecast as "foreign" and "the other". Chris Thomas, our fabulous composer, created the theme and the fusion pieces throughout the film.